Joe Wyszynski

New Blog!

2010-04-11T16:30:00.001+08:00

There will be no new posts on this blog. I've switched to WordPress, so anyone who's interested should change thir bookmarks to www.joewyszynski.wordpress.com

All of the old posts are there, and that's where the new ones will go,

Taiwan's Hot Springs

2010-04-10T14:06:00.002+08:00

The NY Times ran an article a couple weeks ago about Taipei's hot springs.

click for full article

Yanmingshan is a great place to visit. I highly recommend it to anyone travelling to Taipei. It's easily accessible by the MRT, and has public, semiprivate, and private hotspring baths for any kind of stay, short or long.

The atmosphere is festive, with plump teenagers doing sit-ups on the raised stone sitting areas while the elderly, immersed up to their earlobes, gossip over plastic canisters of cool tea. Rule No. 9 on the wall — “It is inadvisable to spend more than 15 minutes in the hot spring” — seems to be universally ignored. “The Japanese gave us this,” said one well-wrinkled matron, referring to the highly social culture of public bathing. “They also built railroads, and schools and roads.

This is one of the more interesting aspects of the Beitou area that I learned about during my visits there. During World War II, the Japanese stationed kamikaze pilots in Beitou, giving them a steady diet of food, wine, and women while they soaked in the hot springs awaiting their ultimate mission.

Walking Feet

2010-04-07T19:15:00.002+08:00

Spring is here.

2010-03-23T09:01:00.003+08:00

This must be a song about springtime.

Tiger Text: Not Just for Cheaters!

2010-03-02T00:22:00.011+08:00

Tiger Text has been making waves in the media for the past few days. Tiger Text is an iPhone (and soon BlackBerry and Android) app that allows the user to send a time sensitive text message to another person who has the app. The text is deleted either immediately upon reading, or after a set amount of time.

The joke that the media outlets have been applying to the app is of course apparent in the name. "OMG Tiger Woods cheated on his wife! He's a cheater! You can be a cheater with Tiger Text." Sure, you could use it that way, provided the other party had the app too, and neither one of you wanted the affair to see the light of day. Slightly impractical, and really only applicable to long term affairs, instead of one night stands.

A much more effective and useful application of this app (for some at least) is the drug trade. Dealers could message each other for re-ups, and could message their customers for sales. Drug dealers, rest assured that no one can snitch on you, at least not via cell phone evidence, because the messages you sent are all deleted from the other person's phone. Feds subpoena the phone company? No worries. The messages never go through the cell company's system and are constantly deleted from X Sigma's (creator of Tiger Text) servers.

Maybe I've been watching too much of HBO's The Wire, where the dealers are always one step ahead of the cops. In the show, the street dealers use low tech methods like beepers, payphones and burners-- disposable cell phones that are used for a week and swapped out for a new one before they can be traced or tapped. New technology makes this possible in cheaper and more convenient ways. No more looking for public payphones or making trips to the store to buy burners. Now just send X Sigma a few dollars via Paypal and you're on your way to becoming a kingpin.

Police brutality? Forget calling the news van, just yank out your cell.

2010-02-24T14:35:00.006+08:00

My roommate Dustin just got a Droid the other day. We were comparing his phone and my iPhone, and the apps that we like the best on the two devices. There are so many cool things that one can do with an internet-enabled smart phone that were almost science fiction a few years. ago. Barcode scanning, text-to-speech (and vice versa) and the ability to stream live video and photos from the phone directly to the web.

This last one particularly caught our interest, as it negates the process of transferring the data from your phone to a computer, and then uploading it to the net. With web apps such as Ustream and Qik, the user must simply point and shoot-- the video is automatically saved to the user's online account, available for viewing immediately by anyone.

We thought of the possibilities of this. In the past several years, footage of breaking news has been captured on cell phone cameras, as they are almost ubiquitous on modern handsets. From the tube bombings in London, to the street protests in Tehran, hundreds of people have been turned from eyewitness to video journalist simply by pulling out their cell phones and hitting the record button. Now with 3G (and soon 4G) connectivity becoming standard on cell phones, this kind of street level, on-the-spot news coverage will not only become more widespread, but will be in real time, with no delay between the event being recorded and people being able to log on and watch it on their computers or phones.

In instances like the shooting of Oscar Grant by BART police in San Francisco last year, the police confiscated the cameras and cell phones of anyone they saw at the scene. This illegal confiscation of private property by the police was not only theft, but a stifling of the first amendment. As Carlos Miller pointed out in a blog post published after the shooting, photographing a crime isn't a crime itself. The police have no right to confiscate cameras (or phones as the case may be) unless the camera has been used in the commission of the crime.

The services that Qik and Ustream provide should serve as a warning to police everywhere: your deeds and actions can now be recorded by the public anywhere at any time and uploaded in real time for the world to see. Stealing our cameras will no longer protect you, and will only make you look worse.

Takoyaki 章魚小丸子

2009-09-26T01:13:00.001+08:00

Takoyaki is a Japanese food. It's fried octopus balls. On top of them are mayonaise, wasabi, and dried fish flakes. It is a delicious snack.

50mph Man - Pretty funny.

2009-09-17T12:10:00.000+08:00

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

'Money' music video

2009-07-15T13:21:00.002+08:00

This is the music video for 'Money' a song by Taichung based rock band The Rising Hedons. It was shot in Taichung city in May 2009 by a group of expat and local artists, videographers, actors, and extras. I helped with the lighting and the grip.

I had great fun making the video and meeting a lot of new friends, and I'm happy with the result. What do you think?

Taiwan Photography

2009-06-19T15:30:00.004+08:00

My friend Ryan is a pro photographer based here in Taichung. He's got some cool photographs on his website illustrating daily life in Taiwan.

Photo: Ryan Harrington

Taichung Harbor

2009-06-15T16:53:00.000+08:00

Check out these photos I took at Taichung Harbor.

Taichung Harbor, Rainy Day

No Asians

2009-05-05T11:36:00.004+08:00

In this clip from news archives, an Australian man is confronted by a news anchor about his racism towards Asians. The kicker is at the end.

"Agents," not Asians, are the "mob of bloody crooks."

Crazy Tea Commercial

2009-04-27T10:48:00.004+08:00

This is the goofiest ad I've seen in a long time. No surprise, it's from Japan.

Spring Scream

2009-04-10T00:32:00.001+08:00

I want down to Kenting for Spring Scream again this year. You can see the photos here:

Spring Scream: Kenting April 2009

2009-04-02T01:04:00.001+08:00

Preemptive Memorial Honors Future Victims Of Imminent Dam Disaster

McCain interviewed on Twitter.

2009-03-18T22:19:00.013+08:00

I wrote not too long ago asking if anyone reading this page twittered or not. It's ever increasing popularity is a bit baffling, since 99% of tweets (messages sent via Twitter) are pretty much random thoughts or blurbs written by the author with no real recipient in mind. Occasioanlly this service will be used by celebrities to communicate directly with their fans, companies to promote their product or service, or as a means of localized, real time blogging (as can bee seen in the recent flood of tweets produced by over-connected nerds at South by Southwest.)

McCain is a mine sweeping wizard.

Politicians also have their own Twitter accounts. @SenJohnMcCain has 230,000 followers. McCain was recently interviewed by ABC's George Stephanopoulos (@GStephanopoulos) You can look at the transcript on ABC's blog.

The questions weren't that tough, and there were typos and grammar mistakes on both sides, but then again, the fast pace and 140 character limit of the medium don't make it very viable for traditional forms of journalism.

I'm not sure what kind of future there will be in Twitter based journalism, especially with such high profile participants as these two, but it's kind of an interesting experiment, and it makes McCain look a bit less like an old fuddy duddy (only a bit.)

I twitter occasionally, although I don't know why. Follow me if you want @joewyszynski.

Graffiti Animation

2009-03-18T21:54:00.004+08:00

I saw this today on digg.com, and I thought it was pretty cool. This artist, Blu, created an animation the way any animator would-- by drawing and photographing thousands of still images and then playing the images back at a high speed to give the drawings a sense of movement. But he chose to scrap the pencil and paper in favor of spray cans and an urban canvas of walls, streets, and occasionally ceilings.

MUTO a wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

MUTO is pretty trippy, but it's amazing to watch if you consider all that the artist must've gone through to make it.

Phone Photos 2

2009-03-09T15:30:00.006+08:00

It's still rainy and cold here, and I've got no life, so I'll post more photos from my phone.

This is a new model from Taiwanese auto manufacturers. The idea behind the design is that thieves will be too embarassed to ever steal your car. It gets great milage too, since it can be fueled by a mixture of petroleum and aphids.

Happy birthday! Here's your tapeworm cake!

This caption practically writes itself, so I won't bother.

Phone Photos 1

2009-03-07T16:43:00.010+08:00

I take a lot of photos on my cell phone (Sony Ericsson K550i) when I'm out and about and I don't have my "real" camera on me. I just finally got around to pairing the phone's Bluetooth with my laptop, so now I've got a whole folder full of pictures spanning the last year and a half. Some are funny things that I've seen and had to shoot, others are things on signs or computer screens that I took a photo of in order to remember it when a pen wasn't handy. I'll start to post the best or most unusual up a few at a time.

I just took this one a couple hours ago. This is Hotel One in Taichung, and it's a few blocks away from my house. As you can see, it's a nasty day today.

I see a lot of strange things while driving my scooter around. This woman owns a Husky, a dog that has no business in hot, humid Taiwan, and she shuttles it around on a tiny scooter.

This man has a lot of meat. He needs to move it across town. He does not have a car, he has a filthy scooter.

Fuck. Me too.

More later.

This is Why You're Fat

2009-02-20T13:20:00.004+08:00

For those of you who haven't discovered this unique food blog, thisiswhyyourefat.com posts photos of ridiculously unhealthy junk food concoctions. They range in nature from the cute but relatively innocuous McDonald's Martini to the stoner-ish "gravy covered pizza" or "deep fried Tootsie Roll" to the downright scary Bacon Cheese Pizza Burger. Check it out yourself, and it may inspire you to treat your heart like a punching bag as well.

Good Weather, Good Mood.

2009-02-18T11:11:00.007+08:00

It's been nice here for the last week or so, and I've been trying to get outdoors more. Nick and I bought a little barbecue grill on Saturday and grilled some brats. No photos other than this one, since I was having too much fun, but I'm sure we'll do it again.

It's supposed to be nice for the rest of the week and into the weekend, a few showers aside. Good weather has the amazing power to affect people's moods, and bring them out of their homes and into the streets and parks. It's nice to go out walking and come across kids playing or old people smiling at you from a bench.

Next up on my list of things to do outdoors is to get up into the mountains for a hike.

Take that, Hawaii.

The Ultimate Rubber Band Gun

2009-02-15T22:38:00.004+08:00

I remember playing with wooden toy rubber band guns when I was a kid. The kind with a simple stretch-and-release firing mechanism. There's nothing more satisfying than hitting something across the living room dead on with a rubber band. That's why these guys took the rubber band gun thing to the next level with The Ultimate Rubber Band Gun. See below:

The Ultimate Rubber Band Gun - Watch more Funny Videos

I'd love to try and build something like this someday. Tearing up the back yard with rubber bands would be a Saturay afternoon well spent.

Kenting in January

2009-01-31T21:09:00.004+08:00

My Chinese New Year break is rapidly winding down. I had a good time, but didn't do too much. One thing I did do was take a trip down to Kenting, on the South coast of Taiwan. Ariel, Luke, Mark and I took a bus down, and although the traffic kept us on the bus for hours, it was ultimately worth the trip.

We got off the bus across the street from our hotel. It was an older, well lived in place that none of us were impressed with, but we just dropped off our bags and went out. We walked down Kenting street in search of something to eat. Vendors line the busy street selling everything from seafood to ice cream to grilled corn and vegetables. We got a variety of stuff and some beers and went looking for the beach. We got there just before sunset, and I changed into my swim trunks and went swimming.

It was nice to be in the water, feeling the sand and surf and the last rays of sunlight. It's easy to forget sometimes how beautiful Taiwan is when I spend all my time in the city, so when I get to experience natural wonders like the ocean, it's refreshing to both body and mind.

We got another hour or so to spend on the beach the next day. As we rode home, we agreed that the trip's only flaw was that it was too short. We will definitely rturn soon.

I took many photos, which you can see here:

Kenting in January (1/2)

Kenting in January (2/2)

Google Kills a Deer

2009-01-30T19:02:00.003+08:00

As an avid Google Earth/ Google Maps user, I thought this was pretty interesting. Google has a feature called Street View that lets you find a street from above in Maps or Earth, and then-- if the data is available-- take a virtual ride down these streets using hundreds of digital photos taken by a van with cameras mounted on it that drives up and down streets in some areas.

This one apparently hit a small deer, and the photos of the accident were uploaded onto Google Maps.

Amazing Photos

2009-01-22T15:48:00.005+08:00

I came across this list of amazing (non-Photoshopped) images. A few are NWS, but nothing too bad

My favorite is this Teenage Mutant Ninja Dog photo.

Just a monk out for a stroll...

2009-01-21T19:46:00.003+08:00

Historic Day

2009-01-21T16:49:00.008+08:00

I stayed up late to watch President Obama's inauguration. He wasn't sworn in until almost one in the morning here, but I caught it on CNN's website. I must say I was impressed with the turnout in Washington. It was a grand affair.

His speech was pretty moving as well. Maybe it's because I'm an American abroad, so I'm not used to seeing such a powerful display of patriotism for my home country. I especially liked these quotes:

And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: Know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West: Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

It's been tough traveling or living abroad as an American for the past several years. People who have a problem with the West often blame America, and people who blame America blame Bush and those who put him into office. I hope that Obama can renew the face of America for the world. Of course we will still need to be powerful or occasionally forceful, but I hope that we can also gain a reputation for being compassionate and progressive.

Another part of me wonders if Obama can really deliver all that he said yesterday. I think many people are so excited to have someone other than G.W. Bush in office that they think all of the problems and issues will be resolved and new ones won't crop up. "Hope" is a powerful word, and a good thing to have, but if it's squandered on hopless causes or leaders, then it can only end in disappointment.

What are your thoughts?

Also, check out this slide show. Like myself, countless American expatriates and people all over the world stopped what they were doing to watch the ceremony.

Internet Appliances

2009-01-16T14:32:00.002+08:00

I've seen a few items on the net this week about networked appliances. One guy modified his washing machine to text his cell phone when a load is finished. Another article from Australia talks about refrigerators being connected to a peer-to-peer network (think BitTorrent) in order to manage power consumption on a large grid.

Computers being networked is no new thing, but it's interesting to think what can be accomplished by linking appliances together. You could preheat your oven from your mobile phone on the drive home so that you can pop dinner in and save time. Your refrigerator could send you text messages reminding you what you're low on so you can pick up whatever it is on the way home. You could even have your heating and cooling systems track the weather forecasts so that they could more accurately keep your house at optimal temperature. This isn't re-inventing any of these convenient, time saving inventions, but it is allowing them to be even more convenient and time saving by granting them access to lots and lots of available data.

Twitter anyone?

2009-01-12T16:41:00.004+08:00

Is anyone else on twitter? It's basically a site that hosts ultra short blogs, text only. It's like facebook's status updates, but marginally more useful, since you can update and read other's pages via RSS or SMS updates.

My twitter is http://twitter.com/taichung

Teacher Rips Off Boy's Face!

2009-01-10T16:04:00.008+08:00

I saw this article in the news feeds today:

Chinese schoolboy has 52 stitches after attack from teacher
A primary-school student in central China had to have 52 stitches in his face after he was beaten by his teacher for not doing his homework.

By Malcolm Moore in Shanghai
Last Updated: 2:44PM GMT 08 Jan 2009

Zheng Chaoqun, 10, is still being treated at a hospital in Henan province after his teacher tore away a strip of flesh. Zheng told a local newspaper, the Dayang News, that his assailant, 37-year-old Guo Yabin, had picked him up by his cheeks after he failed to hand in his work."She was very angry at the time," he said. "She ripped and tiwsted my cheeks with both her hands and then she lifted me off the ground."

The boy said he felt his face ripping off and fell back to his seat. "She still had my skin in her hands, and my face was bleeding. She looked anxious and sent me home," he said.
Doctors in the hospital sewed up a five inch wound. Zheng's father has reported the case to the police and is expected to press for damages.

But no action has yet been taken against Mrs Guo, a mother of two. The authorities said they, and the police, were still investigating the incident. However, graphic pictures of Zheng's injuries have circulated on the Chinese internet.
Mrs Guo's relatives have reportedly produced a hospital certificate to show the teacher is mentally unstable. "When she tore off his face, we were horrified," another student told the Dayang News.

The teacher got so pissed at this kid for not turning in his work, that she actually picked him up by the face. Some of my students here have told me their teacher hits them or their classmates with a ruler or something, which I find to be inappropriate and unjust (although sometimes tempting...,) but this is way out there.

And as if ripping his skin off isn't nasty enough, she had the nerve to send the kid home. What did she say to him? "Zhang! Get the herr out of this classroom! Stop bleeding all over the damn place! Come back when you finish your homework and put your face back in order!"

EDIT: Now with photo. Warning, not pretty. Scroll down,

Lazy Saturday

2008-12-27T18:29:00.003+08:00

Bored, just playing around with the webcam...

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T14:33:00.007+08:00

Merry Christmas all. I found this comic today, and it reminded me of some recent Christmas mornings at my house. Probably what will be happening there this morning too (ahem, Andy...)

Also check out the "weirdest Christmas light displays in America."

Christmas, Good Grief!

2008-12-22T16:28:00.004+08:00

Christmas is this Thursday. I'm not at all in the Christmas spirit, as was previously touched on. I know I'm not the only one out there who is having a difficult holiday season, and I'm not complaining about it.

I have to work on Christmas Eve, as well as Christmas day. I probably won't see many of my friends on Christmas, and I know I won't see my family. There probably won't be any presents for me besides the ones my mom sent (thanks mom!), and I won't eat turkey, or egg casserole, or drink egg nog, or any of the other activities that I've come to love.

I watched the Charlie Brown Christmas cartoon today with some of my students, and I realized how alike Mr. Brown and I are. I too, have a funny looking tree, and everyone around me seems to be buzzing about Christmas without any true meaning behind their words.

But what Charlie and I have is an ability to see the best in a situation. Linus tells Charlie that out of all the Charlie Browns in the world, that he is the "Charlie Browniest." He calls Charlie on being such as sad sack, and turning a wonderful celebration like Christmas into something bleak and depressing. Everyone's got things that they could be depressed about. I do too. But I've also got a lot to be happy about. I've got a job in the midst of an economic crisis. I've got a girlfriend who adores me, and I've got a place to live and food to eat. I have all kinds of distractions like movies and blogs, and I've got pretty decent weather for Christmas week.

I'm looking on the bright side, and I know that once Christmas is over, my situation will be the same. I'm thankful for what I have, and even though the season isn't what it could be, what I want it to be, I can still be positive and focus on the positive. I don't have to be the Charlie Browniest.

2008-12-17T17:05:00.005+08:00

Here's an amazing Taiwan photo I found. Click it for a link to the source.

Members of the Tao tribe hoist a new fishing boat into the air during a traditional launching ceremony on Orchid Island, Taiwan

Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra

2008-12-16T22:24:00.003+08:00

Christmas decorations are going up here in Taiwan. Trees, lights, giant Santas and snowmen, and candy canes. Fifteen foot reindeers leap out of the facade of a local department store. McDonald's employees wear Santa hats, and those tunes you know so well play from every PA system all the time.

So much attention paid to decorating, and yet it feels nothing at all like the Christmas that I know. It doesn't feel special at all. I understand that the real meaning of the holiday and the atmosphere it creates in places where it is truly revered may be lost in translation to many Taiwanese. I don't expect Western traditions and culture to always carry over to other places. I'm just confused as to why so much effort is put into the visual manifestation of Christmas here in Taiwan.

I mainly see the decorating and Christmas references in stores and restaurants and places trying to sell me stuff. It seems that Christmas advertising must be alluring to the average consumer here, since the stores are pretty much unified in their embrace of Christmas imagery. There are even specialty shops popping up that sell ornaments, trees, signs, and other brickabrack. It would seem that the Taiwanese are just as nuts about Christmas as Americans.

And yet when I mention it to any of my students or local friends or coworkers, it seems that they have a good idea of what it is, but no personal ties to it or tradition in celebrating it. I ask kids what they get for Christmas, and most say that they either don't celebrate it, or don't really give or get presents. Apparently the big gift giving holiday is Chinese New Year. Cash is exchanged in red envelopes, and kids and adults go shopping for new clothes or PlayStations or whatever they fancy.

So if the major consumer holiday is CNY, which is a full month after XMAS this year, then why is so much effort put into Christmas related advertising here? Is there a consumer force backing it up, or is is simply a novelty factor? Maybe it's all of the surplus decorations and fake snow and plastic trees making their way across the straight from China. Whatever it is, it's not enough to inspire any warm fuzzy feelings in the cold bones of this foreigner.

More dogs.

2008-12-08T22:14:00.003+08:00

My friend Iwen is looking for a home for two more dogs. One is a husky and the other a beagle. If you know anyone who would be interested in adopting one or both of these dogs should contact me, and I'll provide you with details and contact info.

The last dog of hers that I posted about on this blog (Elsa, yellow lab) was sucessfully flown to some friends in Estonia.

The Gasman Cometh

2008-11-20T11:21:00.009+08:00

We've had our gas shut off for about a week now. Something about the gas line being too old, slow gas leak, something or other. I finally got around to calling a repairman to come and fix it (with a little help from Ariel.)

The repairman showed up this morning a full 30 minutes early, and started to speak to me in a rapid mix of Chinese and Taiwanese. I assume he was asking about the gas lines and such, but he could just as easily have been trying to discuss the best way to flip an omelet without it breaking. My comprehension of Chinese is okay, as long as the other person speaks slowly, and sticks to the script of questions that I know how to answer.

How long have you been in Taiwan?
Over one year.
Ah, your Chinese is really not bad!
Thank you, I don't go to class.
So, do you like Taiwan?
Yes, I like it here. The people are friendly.
What do you do for a living?
I am a buxiban teacher.
What do you think about our current political climate?
Err...what...umm...nice weather today.

Finally, after realizing that I was just smiling and saying "yes, okay" over and over, the guy got to work on my gas line. He was trying to wrench the sink from its anchor on our kitchen wall, and after a lot of effort, finally broke down and called a coworker for backup.

This gave him a break to come over and sit with me in the living room, where I had been reading a book. He produced a small plastic bag from his coveralls and offered me a piece of "Taiwan ko-shiang tang" or "Taiwan chewing gum." It was, of course, not chewing gum at all, but betel nut, a palm nut wrapped in palm leaf and chewed by working class Taiwanese as a stimulant.

photo from wikipedia

He was surprised to hear that I knew about bing lang, and that I knew to remove the cap before chewing on the pulpy seed. Normally, when chewing bing lang, one will spit the resulting red juice into a cup (or on the ground if one is truly uncouth.) This gentleman suggested that I swallow it, in order to gain the warming properties that betel nut chaw has on the body. I opted out of that, since I really only accepted it out of politeness in the first place.

We had a chat, and chewed our nuts, and then his coworker arrived. They fixed the gas line, he showed me the fancy new on/off valve, and he left. Working the same schedule every day leaves me little time, or maybe just little will, to change anything about my daily routine, so having something different happen in my pre-work hours was kind of nice.

Political Turmoil on the Island

2008-11-18T11:29:00.002+08:00

There has been a lot going on in Taiwanese politics in the last couple of weeks. Former president Chen Shui-bian was arrested last week on money laundering and corruption charges. It's a big deal in the local media.

Also, a visit from Chen Yun-lin, a diplomat from mainland China, to Taipei sparked protests from thousands of students. They are upset not only about president Ma's strengthening ties to the communist mainland, but also about the unnecessarily large and hostile police presence in Taipei surrounding Chen Yun-lin's visit.

You can read more about it in the news, and Michael Turton does a good job chronicling the developments on his blog.

Halloween

2008-11-02T21:59:00.003+08:00

My school. 21st Century, celebrated Halloween on Wednesday. We took an hour or so to walk around the neighborhood with the kids and trick-or-treat. It sounds like fun until you consider the differences between this and actual, American-style trick-or-treating.

We were going to pre-determined locations that we had spoken to in advance and supplied with candy. This was necessary, as it was the middle of the afternoon, it wasn't actually Halloween, and because the holiday gets very little attention here except for English schools and bars that throw parties on Halloween.

Our stops included two banks, a McDonald's, a Huyndai dealership, a 7-Eleven, and a store that sold essential oils (labelled 'chemical srtore' on our itineraries.)

The fact that we had to go to these businesses, in the middle of a business day, with a gaggle of candy-hyp[ed kids in costume was bad enough, but on top of that, the kids were supposed to perform a song to the employees at each stop. I will tell you, seeing the faces of the customers, especially at the banks, was both amusing and a bit embarassing. They were not amused.

Anyweay, on to the photos. I didn't get any during the actual outing, since my costume had no pockets for my camera, and since I was told that there would be another teacher taking photos for all of us.i'll upload those to the album when I get them.

You can see more photos of Halloween, and of my school on other days, in this album.

Lunchtime

2008-10-28T15:10:00.004+08:00

Haven't updated in a while, but I've been adding albums to my Picasa gallery. Check them out (link on right hand side of this page.)

Here's an average lunch for me. I eat with the kids at school, and we get a buffet style lunch from a local restaurant. Always Taiwanese style food. In this photo you can see my drink of choice, duo-duo green tea. It's a mix of green tea and Taiwanese sweet yogurt drink (duo duo, 多多). The fish are small somethingorother fish, and they're pregnant with thousands of eggs. A bit gross, but they tase okay. Other days I'll get more average fare such as sweet pork or fried chicken cutlets. there's always veggies and some tofu, and usually some egg and soup.

A closeup of the fish. This is why I prefer eating a small part of a big fish. as opposed to all of a small fish. Not bad, if you can get past the gore.

Couches

2008-10-12T23:00:00.002+08:00

Nick and I got some new couches this weekend. "New" is not exatly right, as these couches were bought from a neighbor, a Canadian fellow who lives across the street from me. They're big, they're black, they're pleather. They are not new. Plenty of cracks and holes (haw) and a bit of dirt, but a lot better than the stiff, lopsided hulk we had until last week.

That thing was a pain to get out of the house. It involved lots of lifting, moderate to severe cursing, removing the hinges of our screen door, and two tall, sweaty foreigners squeezing a piece of furniture down four flights of dark steps.

Well, we got that damn thing out of there, and now we have two comforable (and surprisingly light) replacements that didn't cost but a few dollars.

We left a note saying "please take me" in English and Chinese on the old couch and chair and put them out on the street. They sat there for a few days as merely ornaments for the alrady beautiful building we live in. And then, yesterday they were mysteriously gone.

Also,I got Dad's Sling Box up and running on my TV. Now, via an internet connevted PC, I can control and watch cable TV from at&t cable in Cleveland. It's just for typhoon days, I swear.

Toxic Milk

2008-10-01T17:07:00.005+08:00

There's been a big scare in Taiwan recently over tainted powdered milk from China. Apparently, the Chinese were cutting the milk with some other powder containing melamine, which can be toxic.

Babies were getting sick all over Asia, and the powder found its way into products produced in Taiwan, the Phillipines, and Malaysia. Some treats like chocolate and milk tea (photo below) are risky to eat right now.

I'm sick of having to worry about all of these products from China. It seems as though every few months, Chinese manufacturers cut some corner and a bunch of people get sick or die. It's difficult to keep up with all of the forbidden items, and I've been encouraged by many Taiwanese to just avoid buying anything made in mainland China. That's easier said than done, however. They make so damn many of the products I use every day. Even American brands such as Colgate are made in the depths of toxic China.

I got a new job.

2008-09-24T18:27:00.002+08:00

I decided to make a clean break from my kindergarten job. I'm just not cut out to babysit those little tykes. I've got a new full time at an after-school English cram school called 21st Century. I'm teaching older (9-12 year old) kids.

It's just a tiny little four classroom school, but already I like it a lot more than the last place. I feel very at home here, and the kids seem to really enjoy being in my class.

I'm working later in the day (until 9PM most days) which is a bit of a downer, since Ariel finishes her work at 4, and we have less time to hang out than before, when we got finished at the same time.

Apartment/ First Week of Work

2008-09-08T11:58:00.002+08:00

Nick and I started at our new job last week. We both teach kindergarten at the same school.His kids are 3 years old and mine are 4. Both of our classes are new students who have never been to school before.

It's taxing. They have no idea how to line up, listen, sit still, or play nicely, let alone how to learn English. I feel much more like a babysitter than a teacher. As of today, week 2, we're unsure whether we have the patience to teach such young kids. It's actually been the cause of a lot of anxiety and lost sleep over the last week.

I'm not sure now what I'll do, but I may end up working at another job.

Also, since a few people seemed curious, I've uploaded some photos of our apartment. These photos don't include Nick's space on the 5th floor, which is probably roughly 200+ square feet, or our roof area. We pay about $260US per month for this house.

The Album.

Taichung

2008-08-25T22:28:00.003+08:00

I haven't updated in quite some time, but here it is.

I had a wonderful visit back to Ohio in August. I got to see my family, and some friends too. It felt very good to be back home. It made me realize that I really did put my life in Ohio on hold while I commenced my life in Taiwan. I hadn't thought of those two things as being separate before, but they are in a sense.

All of the people, places, and things that made up my life pre-Taiwan have changed. Upon returning, I had no trouble identifying all of these things and people and places as being part of my life, but they were different, changed. My brothers are older, my house looks different, there are new restaurants in my neighborhood, Bud Light now comes in lime flavor.

I've put all of these things on the backburner again, however, and returned to Taiwan. I'll be starting a new job next week, teaching kindergarten at Marshall School in Taichung. Taichung, a city of about a million, is located about 2 hours south of Taipei, on the middle of Taiwan's western coast.

I feel excited about this new job. I'll miss my old students and coworkers (and to a lesser extent, the town of Linko,) but I was due for a change of scenery.

My roommate, Nick, and I rented an apartment on the 4th and 5th floors of an older building on the city's near west side. We live in an area with a fair amounts of expats from England, South Africa, and North America. We live within a couple blocks of a canal, a department store, two parks, two temples, and dozens of small shops and restaurants.

My girlfriend, Ariel, lives about five minutes walking from me, and she'll be working nearby too. So it's an all around good deal for me. I'm pretty excited about the next year of my life, and I'll definitely try my best to document all of my noteworthy thoughts here.

Changes

2008-07-28T01:02:00.000+08:00

Summertime in Taiwan

2008-06-13T13:22:00.003+08:00

It's officially summer in Taiwan. That means typhoon season is upon us. So far, the rain hasn't been that bad, but every Monday for the last month, as if it were a big "eff you" joke, it has rained all day.

Aside from that, June is a pretty eventful month for me. My kindergarten class is graduating at the end of the month, so I've been busy teaching them their performance for the ceremony. The frustration of trying to coordinate a play, a dance routine, and a speech for fifteen little kids is akin to trying to teach a team of cats to play water polo, or something equally as stressful.

My girlfriend, Ariel, has gone to work in Missouri for several weeks, and I'm looking forward to joining her stateside in August. It will be great to see everyone again, and to relearn things like driving a car, eating a burrito, and speaking English in a normal cadence and tone.

One of my best friends from college, Nick Dietsch, is set to fly over here to Taiwan next week. He's packing all of his stuff as I type, and is planning on living here and teaching English for a year. We will most likely find an apartment together in Taichung, about two hours South of where I am now.

So after I return from America in August, I'll have a new location and a new job to look forward to. That plus the fact that I have more friends, more experience living here, and I can speak more Chinese than I did a year ago all add up to the potential of an awesome second year here.

I'll post again soon, as I anticipate a lot more going on in my life in the next few weeks.

Ma Ying-jeou

2008-05-20T12:56:00.004+08:00

Today Ma Ying-jeou becomes the new president of Taiwan. His Kuomintang (KMT) Party replaces replaces former President Chen Shui-bian's Democratic Progressive Party (DPP). You can read about it here.

Free Taiwanese Dog

2008-05-15T12:31:00.007+08:00

My Chinese tutor and friend, Iwen, is an avid dog lover. A yellow lab named Bebe, has recently come under her care. Another case of an abandoned dog in Linko, and an example of how older, bigger dogs are abandoned or abused when they are no longer cute and cuddly. Iwen has a few dogs like Bebe already, and would like to find her a new home. I told her I'd try to help her find someone who would want a dog that's on it's last chance.

Her description of the dog is as follows:

"She is 3-4 years old. She is not the most beautiful Labrador, but she is certainly kind, gentle, sweet, and friendly. We do wish to find a good home for her, a family to love her and care for her. She is NOT old, but she has been through too much pain, torture."

If anyone is interested, let me know via email or a phone call. Iwen will be able to pay for all of the travel and medical expenses involved (yes, even to the States) with getting this adorable dog into your loving home.

dont txt me bro!

2008-05-13T12:05:00.003+08:00

I thought this article from Slashdot was pretty interesting. Apparently, per megabyte, sending SMS (text messages) to your friends and family is four times more expensive than sending and receiving data from the Hubble telescope. It's not exactly a scientifically correct research paper, but it probably rings true (no pun intended) to anyone who's been pissed about a high cell phone bill.

Birthday

2008-05-09T01:58:00.003+08:00

Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. It meant a lot, and I'm glad that you're thinking of me. I had a nice day, and Luke and I went out for teppanyaki on Tuesday night.

I'll be visiting home to Ohio for a couple weeks in August, so I hope to see a lot of people then.

Florida Senator to Castrate Automobiles

2008-04-28T17:31:00.009+08:00

From Reuters:

TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.

You've probably seen these. Academically challenged individuals often add these chrome cajones to their trucks, along with other hillbilly accoutrement such as confederate flag window decals, motorboat propellers, and the ever popular faux bullet holes.

Republican Sen. Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban. Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like "Truck Nutz" and resemble the south end of a bull moving north.

Is this really all Sen. Baker feels is wrong with the state of Florida? Obviously a man with a lot of time on his hands. Hey Baker, you can have my chrome testicles when you pry them from my cold, dead hands!

Critics of the ban included the Senate Rules Chairman, Sen. Jim King, a Jacksonville Republican whose truck sported a pair until his wife protested.

He seems like a good husband. A real role model for Floridians.

Florida, you are such a classy state. Please don't ever change.

Modern Toilet

2008-04-26T16:16:00.004+08:00

You may laugh at me for it. I ate at a toilet themed restaurant. Modern Toilet is a chain restaurant in Taiwan that has, you guessed it, a bathroom theme. The floors are tiled, the wallpaper is that horrible floral that many people have in their bathroom, and the tables and chairs are washbasins and toilets respectively.

The food, while not bad, is definitely not the reason people choose to eat here. I'll illustrate for you with photos.

Notice the poo light fixture.

The food comes in a small toilet.

Chocolate ass-cream. Mmmm...

The only disappointment was that the bathroom there didn't look like a restaurant, like I had anticipated it would. You can see the rest of the photos on Ariel's blog here.

Flying Dogs

2008-04-23T19:25:00.001+08:00

Still Here

2008-04-17T16:05:00.003+08:00

I've been neglecting this blog for a while. Stuff has been happening as usual, but I just haven't felt like writing about it.

I went to a cool concert in Kenting Park on Taiwan's South coast, and I had an awesome time (pictures soon.) I've been trying to come up with some supplementary work after Hess basically left me high and dry in some ways, and I've been feeling pretty healthy now that the weather has gotten warmer.

Also, there's a lot of internet buzz about Yahoo! Live, a web app that lets you have video conference style chats with anyone with a webcam and a Yahoo account. No Skype or other software necessary. It might be a cool way to chat with people back home. I'll see if I can get it up and running and then post my username here.

Taiwan Gets Nuclear Weapons Parts. Guess Who Sent Them.

2008-03-26T18:27:00.007+08:00

From the China Post:

WASHINGTON -- The Defense Department announced Tuesday that the United States mistakenly shipped to Taiwan four electrical fuses designed for use on intercontinental ballistic missiles but has since recovered them.

Awesome. We spend billions upon billions every year on defense, and this is what we get. Not only are we just shipping out DIY nuke hobby kits to people who don't even want them, but we're sending them to nations whose sovereignty and well being are already at stake (and where I incidentally live, also.)

The error is particularly disturbing, officials said, because of its indirect link to nuclear weaponry and because of the sensitivity of U.S. arms sales to Taiwan, which China regularly denounces as provocative. The Defense Department said an investigation of the incident is under way.

And this is hot on the heels of another fuck up:

Last August an Air Force B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear-tipped cruise missiles and flown across several states. At the time, the pilot and crew were unaware they had nuclear arms aboard.

How does this happen? I can understand a clerical error that results in a crate of red pens being delivered to a DOD office instead of a crate of blue pens, but nuclear weapons?! I'm not crazy about my tax dollars being spent on nukes in the first place, but now that I see how wasteful and careless the government is with them, I'm becoming especially opposed to the idea.

Jasper

2008-03-25T20:34:00.004+08:00

Why don't you like me,
when all I do is hug you?
You poop in a box.

Springtime

2008-03-20T10:50:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since my last update. I just didn't have anything to write about, and I didn't feel like writing just for its own sake. I;ve been feeling a bit more peppy now that the weather's gotten nicer. I've been trying to get outdoors more, so I've been taking a lot of long walks and the occasional scooter ride.

I've been doing a bit of traveling as well. Ariel has been showing me around Taichung and the surrounding areas, and this weekend we're visiting Hsinchu and Mioli, pretty close to Taipei, but I've never been there.

Luke has been spending time with some friends of Crystal. They are art students in Taipei, and they've been his connection to a lot of cool events and happenings. He's going to help them set up for the Spring Scream festival in Kenting (the lowest point of the southern peninsula of the island.)

This festival promises to be an awesome way to celebrate the good weather arriving. There will be three days of live bands, film, arts, and food. I hope to attend, but I need to find a place to stay, as I waited to long to book a hotel room, and now they're all full. Worst case scenario is that I have to sleep in the tent that our friend Jerry gave us.

I hope everyone in Ohio is surviving the last of the winter blizzards. My heart goes out to you. The very thought of getting my car out of a snow bank makes me cringe.

2008-03-10T15:03:00.001+08:00

A Little Fun...Just a Bit ;)

2008-02-28T23:27:00.012+08:00

The last couple of weeks have been a bit rough on me, as you can tell by my last post. Things have not been going my way with work or with my health. I've been frustrated.

Fortunately I've got a good group of friends that can help me forget my worries and relax. I'm feeling mostly better now, so I can share some of the good stuff that's happened in the past couple of weeks.

Right after I got back from Thailand, Luke and Ariel and I met with Luke's friend Tony and his wife Crystal.

Tony, Crystal, and I

We ended up going to a restaurant with a big pool in the middle. You are handed rods and you can fish for your own prawns. Actually, 'restaurant' is not quite the right word, as there was just a grill in the back and a picnic table in the front, no service, no drinks other than a cooler of beer and tea in the front. Very DIY. Much like a camping trip, only in the middle of the city.

Ariel trying to catch her dinner.

Tony and Luke fishing.

So relaxing. I feel like I'm out in a fan boat on the Everglades.

Showing off the catch.

We didn't catch many shrimp, but the guy spared us a few more, and we had a nice snack of grilled creepies before heading off for a real dinner.

Mmmmm...

Last weekend, we went to a combination going away party for our friend Jerry and birthday party for our friend Melanie.

Luke and Mel

Me, Ariel, and Luke at Citizen Kane restaurant

Luke and Jerry

Me looking very zen in front of a fake Japanese garden in a department store

Ariel preparing tea, the traditional way, at a teahouse

If I didn't have friends, or these little excursions, I don't know what I'd do to keep my sanity. I'm grateful.

Anti-Taiwan Rant in 3...2...1...

2008-02-19T12:31:00.007+08:00

I'm having one of those weeks that the Hess training staff would call "culture shock." I don't know if I even like that term, but I'm having a hell of a time trying to be content with my life right now.

I'm ill with something. Maybe the flu, maybe an upper respiratory infection, maybe something else. I don't know. All I know is that I haven't had any energy or appetite in three days and I've had all kinds of aches and pains. I went to see a doctor yesterday, my first time since I've been in Taiwan. I was initially hesitant to go to the hospital, because everyone has told me that it's such an ordeal. Boy, were they right. After waiting to check in, finding my way to the elusive section 3D, and waiting to get my blood pressure taken, I then waited another couple of hours to see the doctor. Imagine a room full of red faced, runny nosed people, some of whom have the worst hacking-death-rattle of a cough you've ever heard. They are all waiting for their number to show up on the sign next to their assigned doctor's door. My number was 49, and I waited from the number 20. When I finally saw the doctor, he barely checked me out, didn't take my temperature, and didn't even really listen to what I was telling him, but instead suggested symptoms I was having and proclaimed it a viral infection. This whole examination took approximately seven minutes. Ten minutes maximum.

Prescription for God-knows-what in hand, I headed down to the pharmacy to collect my meds, and was again greeted by a long line of sick people. I haven't seen Michael Moore's new movie yet, but it will have to be pretty damning of the American health care system to make me think socialized health care is at all effective after yesterday's ordeal.

So I got home from the hospital and was immediately called in to work. Sure, someone with a viral infection or... whatever can teach a group of kindergarteners, no problem. I also got the news that three of my weekly classes were inexplicably dropped from my schedule, reducing by 24 my monthly hours. Great. After lots of prodding and pleading, I finally got an explanation. I guess I'm not doing as well in my classes as I should be. The only explicit criticism I've gotten yet: I've been teaching too long on my last class of the week (something I was sure I corrected months ago.)

So let's recap. For doing too much, or upsetting a delicate timetable by 10 minutes a week, I received a schedule reduction of roughly 25%, with no explanation given upfront, and no way to argue my case. I'm not only pissed about the reduced number of hours, but also with the total lack of any communication, which I am told is part of Chinese culture. No one will ever tell me that they have a problem with my work or anything. They may mention something in a nice, suggestive way to one of the other teachers that may eventually make its way back around to me, but when I try to ask anyone about these things, I'm always met with this attitude like it's the first time they've ever heard of any problem, and I'm uniformly given the response that they will talk to someone about it.

I hope I can start to be positive soon, or it will make my life here much more difficult than it needs to be.

My Vacation

2008-02-16T11:18:00.007+08:00

I'm finally getting around to writing about my Chinese New Year's trip to Thailand after a busy week back.

We decided to go to Thailand because it's close, easy, and our friends were all telling us that it's beautiful and warm, and lots of fun. We were not at all disappointed.

We planned the trip a couple of months in advance. By planned, of course, I mean we picked a destination (in this case, the peninsular paradise of Railay Beach) and bought a plane ticket. We would sort out all of the details about where to stay and what to do once we got there. A risky plan, considering tourism was at its peak this month, but it all worked out.

We got there at night, our longtail boat gliding over the water, huge crags looming in the moonlight. We could make out lots of lights and commotion on the water's edge-- these were the rasta bars and restaurants that we would later come to know and love. As our driver cut the boat's engine and we floated through the mangrove trees and onto the beach, we all knew that yes, we had made the right decision and that this place would actually be as good as it looked in the brochures.

The first night, we checked into the hotel that we had booked at the airport. It was nothing fancy, but it was convenient, and fairly cheap. We went looking for a bar to chill at and we found that there were many to choose from on our end of the beach. We had a good first night out.

The next day, we decided to get a lay of the land. Railay, as I said, is a peninsula surrounded by high limestone cliffs. These cliffs make it a very popular place for rock climbers, and we constantly saw 20-somethings walking around with ropes looking to get 'belayed', haw. The cliffs also spared Railay from any serious damage in the 2004 tsunami. In fact, my tour guide told me that 0 people died in Railay. The peninsula is basically divided into East and West beaches. We stayed on the East beach, where all the inexpensive bungalows and restaurants were. The East beach was nothing to look at, though. The sand was stony and the mangrove trees blocked the view. There were several paths going over the land to the West beach, maybe a 15 minute walk. There we could sit on wide, white sand and see the cliffs rising out of the turquoise sea and the bikini girls playing volleyball. Ahh, life was good.

We spent the first few days just warming our bones on the beach and filling our bellies with exotic curries. We were in no rush to do anything that required the use of our bodies or brains. Rock climbing? No thanks. Kayaking? Sounds good, maybe later.

We did eventually get around to doing some stuff. One day we rented kayaks for a couple hours and explored the rocky coastline. Another day we took a boat to the nearby city of Ao Nang, looking for entertainment. We found it to be dirty and bland, too much like Taiwan. We opted for the more scenic views. Our last two days we spent taking tours. The first tour was an afternoon island hopping tour. We went to four islands, including one inhabited by thieving monkeys, and one called Chicken Head Island, where we donned snorkel masks and looked at the tropical fish. It was like swimming in the aquarium at my dentist's office. The water was that clear, and the fish were that colorful.

The second tour we took was an all day trek around the Krabi Provence of Thailand. We went to a hot spring, a crystal limestone pool, and to a rubber plantation (how exciting.) We also went to a temple on a mountain. Luke and Mike decided to be real men and take the 1200-something stone steps to the top of the mountain and visit the big golden Buddha. Will and I took the easier route up 300 steps to see a 1,000 year old tree. We also saw some monkeys humping.

Our last stop on this tour was an elephant trekking place, where we got on these big Pacific Pachyderms and headed out into the jungle. Actually, we just took a short 40 minute loop up a road and through some ditches, but I still felt like Indiana Jones. We also got to feed the elephants and that made me happy as hell.

We headed home the next day, and were treated to a week of rainy, cold, miserable weather. Still, looking at these photos makes me a bit warmer.

Joe's Photos:

Thailand - February 2008

Mike's Photos

Luke's Photos: 1 2 3 4 5 6 (some overlap with mine, but different captions)

Krazy Krabi

2008-02-08T18:50:00.001+08:00

We're having an awesome time here. Perfect weather, sandy beautiful beaches, good food, cheap massages, and so far no dengue fever (but a bit of mild food poisoning.)

I'll upload a bit of a travel narrative, plus a whole mess of photos, when I return to Taiwan on Monday. Until then:

Thai Bound.

2008-01-31T16:30:00.001+08:00

Just three more days until my Chinese New Year's vacation, and it can't come soon enough. The weather here in Linko is dreadful, it's been cold and rainy all week. I have had enough of work lately, and I've had enough of sitting around in my apartment because I don't want to drive my motorcycle through the rain or wind.

So in three days, Luke, Mike, Willie and I will be getting on a jet and flying here:

One picture's all you get until I get back, but a quick Google Image Search for 'Krabi, Thailand' or 'Railay Beach' will yield similarly astonishing views. Yes, I'll be relaxin' to the maxin' on the beach, beer and book in hand, and watching the waves. Maybe I'll head to Pei Pei Island for a day, or ride an elephant. I don't know, but I'm sure as hell going to relax and enjoy myself.

Cleaning Up Linko

2008-01-24T10:35:00.000+08:00

Well, despite the loud campaigning, I guess the legislators of Taipei County are good for something after all. I just read this article from the China Post that says that Taipei county will start to come down hard on advertising vehicles parked in public spaces for long periods of time.

Those who park their vehicles at public parking spaces in Taipei County, northern Taiwan, for advertising purposes for a period of more than 15 days will see their parking fee doubled from the ordinary level, according to a resolution made by the Taipei County Council.
The county council has recently ratified a set of revisions to the statute governing the collection of parking fees at public parking lots, proposed by the Bureau of Transportation under the Taipei County Government.

Finally! For those of you who don't live here, you won't understand what bothers me without a visual aid:

These trucks, with ads for new apartments and condos that are being built all over Linko and other cities in Taipei County, take up many available parking spaces on many streets. They are unsightly, they often have broken windows or dogs living under them. Most have flat tires and are inoperable, and they also serve as handy obstructions to us scooter drivers trying to pull out into traffic. I'll be very happy if they start towing these things.

The Big Erection

2008-01-07T16:40:00.000+08:00

Never mind the Iowa or New Hampshire caucuses in America. Never mind Obama or Huckabee or Hillary. The most important election to me right now is the one here in Taiwan. Taiwanese politics is, for the most part, still a mystery to me. I know that like America, it consists mainly of two opposing viewpoints- the pro-reunification Pan-Blue coalition headed by the Kuomintang (KMT) party, and the Pan-Green coalition headed by current President Chen Shui-bian's Democratic Progressive Party (DPP.)

Local elections are coming up soon, and all candidates fro my area are having a real go at campaigning. I don't really care who wins, and to be honest, I don't have any interest in researching their political standings right now. I just want it all to be over.

I'm sick today. Sick as a dog. I called off work and I am currently awake and typing this post instead of sleeping because these politicking bags of douche have rented vans emblazoned with their thumbs up and smiling smug selves and are having said vans drive up and down the streets of Linko, blaring political messages at hundreds of ear hemorrhaging decibels.

And if I were healthy enough to go to work, I'd pass dozens of billboards, signs, flags, banners, and other propaganda seemingly originating from only two good ol' boys from Linko, one with a green polo shirt and glasses, smiling and giving me the thumbs up, the other with a cornflower blue polo shirt and sans spectacles, but also giving me a toothy smile and a hearty thumbs up.

Shut up. Shutupshutupshutupshutup.

I know I am a newcomer to this country, and I should respect the fact that they even have democracy in the first place (and I do, believe me,) but I can still criticize the overly irritating and invasive way in which that democratic process is executed.

Say what you will about Obama or Huckabee, at least they let me get some sleep.

New Year's Eve

2008-01-02T21:31:00.001+08:00

Luke and I went to a party through some friends of friends on a rooftop in Taipei for New Years' Eve. I was a bit sick, but I still had a good time. We had a great view of the 101 fireworks, which was easily the most impressive pyrotechnic show I've ever witnessed.

101 looked really cool, even before the fireworks.

There was normal dancing...

...and fire dancing

The main event:

(not my video)

And a few more of the evening...

Luke tooka nasty shot.

Our whole group (minus Jerry, who was taking this photo):
Full album:

New Year's 2008

Christmas!

2007-12-30T13:09:00.001+08:00

Sorry this is so late, but I've been working a pretty full schedule this past week and haven't gotten around to updating this thing until now.

It was good to see many of you Wyszynskis over the Skype video chat last week, and it was very kind of those of you who sent me e-mails, or gifts or cards, or who called me. It's really comforting knowing that all off you are thinking of me.

I had an interesting Christmas here. Never before have I had a sunny, warm day on December 25th, but I rather enjoyed it. Luke and I heard about a Catholic mass here in Linko from one of our neighbors at a Christmas potluck we had last Sunday night. We went looking for it after we got off of work on Monday night, but it was so rainy and cold that we decided it wan't the best idea to be riding our scooters around in that muck after dark. We decided to get into a taxi and head into Taipei to attend the English vigil mass at Holy Family in Da'an.

It was a nice service with priests from Nigeria, India, and Taiwan giving the various parts of the mass, and there were many Filipinos, Africans, European, and Latin Americans in attendance.

The next day, we didn't have any plans of our own for the day we took off work, so after opening our presents fro home we went with some friends to a barbecue in Taipei. Most of the people there were South African, and so the day passed in a mixture of English and Afrikaans, with much wine and laughter and really good food.

Luke and I kept discussing how it didn't feel at all like Christmas without the snow, Christmas trees, and close friends and family, but it was still a fun day, and a worthy way to spend Christmas given the myriad of other places we could have been.

I hope you all had a happy and joyful Christmas as well.

Christmas 2007

Christmas Countdown

2007-12-23T13:22:00.000+08:00

Christmas Time has come into full effect. Hess Linko had its Kindergarten Christmas parents' day on Saturday, and I really enjoyed seeing and talking to the whole Wyszynski clan via live tele-satellite-internet-video-web-chat2.0. It looks like you all had a great time, and I wish I could have been there.

We don't have any plans just yet. I think Luke and I will head into Taipei after work on Monday and go to the English vigil mass at Holy Family Cathedral in Da'an. On Christmas day, we're taking a day off of work, and most likely going into Taipei again for a nice mid-day dinner with some friends. Expect photos.

Just in time for Christmas Vigil Mass, Luke got a new polo shirt from a nearby night market. I got him to model it for a photo.

It is foggy today.

2007-12-19T12:33:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning and was surprised when I looked out the window to find that Linko was gone. It just wasn't there. I could barely see the apartments across the street, and the whole scene looked like something out of the spooky Silent Hill games on Playstation. I shot some quick photos on my way in to school.

My glasses got all foggy too.

Share any cool fog photos you have in the comments!

China doesn't like its products to be copied, Rest of world rolls its eyes

2007-12-14T13:26:00.000+08:00

I saw this article online today and it made me chuckle.

BEIJING (Reuters) - Supposedly ancient Chinese terracotta warriors on show at a German museum are fakes, China confirmed Thursday, condemning the organizers for cheating the public.

The Hamburg Museum of Ethnology has offered refunds to about 10,000 visitors who have already viewed the "Power in Death" exhibition since it opened on November 25 as police probed the authenticity of the warriors.

The display of eight clay warrior figures, two horses and 60 smaller objects has remained open, with a sign stating that its authenticity was in dispute.

The cultural heritage administration in Shaanxi province, home to the 2,000-year-old clay army, said it had been "outraged" because it had not sent any original terracotta warriors to Germany recently.

Oh, boo hoo. So someone in Germany didn't do their homework, and the Chinese are upset because people are paying to see terracotta soldiers that aren't authentic.

The hypocrisy here is staggering. China, perhaps the world's worst offender when it comes to breaking copyright laws and respecting patents, is accusing another nation of ripping off its ancient artwork. Western film and music companies, clothing designers, electronics manufacturers, and countless other industries are losing millions a day to Chinese copycats, and they are raising a stink over eight statues that may or may not be fake.

I hope bloggers in China can see past this blatant attempt at anti-Western propaganda and expose their readers to the truth. Probably not, though.

Last Weekend

2007-12-13T12:53:00.001+08:00

Here are some photos from last weekend. I had a good time. No plans for this weekend. Anyone in Taiwan reading this should let me know what's happening. I'd like to stay in Taipei, but I could be persuaded to travel (Kaohsiung, Taijung.)

Luke and his new friend

Do you know the way to Taipei?

2007-12-10T19:18:00.000+08:00

Uncle Robert just left this morning, and after a long and boring day of training at headquarters, I can tell you about our weekend.

I picked him up from a practically deserted airport on Saturday afternoon, and after getting him unpacked in Linko, we headed into Taipei to visit the notorious snake alley. We met a friend of mine in the station, and she helped us around the city. Unfortunately none of us knew what to do or where to go, and so after visiting the snake merchants (and not being too impressed) we went looking for something to eat. After wandering for a while, we found ourselves at SOGO department store, eating a pretty good Taiwanese dinner.

We met some other English teachers at a bar, and came home at a reasonable hour. The next day we went to Beitou, an area of the city renown for its hot springs. We took a few hours and soaked in the hot sulfur water before coming back to Linkou. Luke and I had our Chinese lesson, and we went for a teppanyaki dinner. No photos just yet, but here are some videos on YouTube that other people made that are pretty close to what we did.

MRT (the description says an earthquake happens during the clip):

SOGO has women in the elevator to push the buttons for you. Classsssssy.:

Beitou hot springs (Hell Valley):

Chinese Lessons

2007-12-05T16:16:00.000+08:00

After a few months of slacking, I finally started taking Mandarin lessons last month. Luke and I get a private tutor once a week to come and teach us the basics of the language.

We're picking up some everyday vocabulary, and we're beginning to learn BoPoMoFo, a method for writing the sounds of Mandarin phonetically. So far, we haven't learned enough to express ourselves as well as we'd like, but we are making a lot of progress. I can ask simple questions like "What is this?" "How much does this cost?" "What is your name/age/phone number?" and "I don't understand." In other words, I speak about as much Chinese as my most basic classes speak English.

It is nice even knowing a little, and I am excited about learning, but I definitely have a long way to go. I will hopefully be getting a Chinese name soon, so I'll be sure to share that once I decide what it will be.

Crash

2007-12-02T13:43:00.000+08:00

I'll keep this brief because it hurts to type.

I wrecked my chopper. I was out driving yesterday afternoon with Luke, Melanie, and Jerry, and I didn't brake hard enough making a downhill turn on a mountain road and my scooter slid off the road. Fortunately, I fell off the scooter before it crashed into a wall, unfortunately I missed the soft berm and skidded along the pavement.

I skinned my left hand pretty badly, and my right elbow and knee. I may have a mild sprain to my left shoulder, and the bridge of my nose has a couple scratches from my helmet visor hitting me.

After I stood up, I felt to make sure I was all still there. My jacket was ripped to shreds, and my jeans had a couple of new holes, but the damage to my body was thankfully non life threatening. I realized I couldn't move my left arm up to unbuckle my helmet, and that scared me. After putting in a lot of effort, I finally raised my arm and felt a triumphant pop as my arm righted itself back into its socket. Success!

Of course, I took some photos after the wreck:

Minutes before the crash, we stop to take in a view and strategize.

The scene of the crash.

I still had a sense of humor, and I was still standing.

WARNING: EXTREME GORE!!!
(click to supersize)

After the crash, the rest of the group came back and we assessed the damage. My Yamaha Fuzzy 125 is in roughly the same banged up shape it was in before the accident, and my injuries didn't look too severe.

We got back on our steeds and drove slowly back to Linko, where Melanie helped clean the gravel out of my wounds and put some antiseptic and iodine on them. Thanks Mel!

I spent the rest of the day self medicating with Taiwan Beer and amoxicillin.

The lesson I learned: Be extra cautious driving on any road, but most of all on steep gradients and sharp turns. Also, always wear a helmet. Always.

Leofoo Village

2007-11-30T14:56:00.001+08:00

Yay, I got the net back up and running. Now I can watch more YouTube videos of people falling off ladders or finding leprechauns in trees or other such nonsense.

Last weekend, out branch took a trip to Leofoo Village Theme Park. Getting up at 7am on a Saturday is something I don't usually do, so I had to have been fairly curious to drag my ass down to school and get on a bus that early. The ride there was foreboding-- the bus we took came with an 'entertainer', a guy that told (supposedly offensive) jokes in Mandarin, and led the group in some KTV (karaoke.) I was planning on sleeping another hour.

When we got there, it was still too early to go in, so we mulled around the parking lot for a while before going in.

The original plan was to stick with the people from our branch. That all went right out the window when they made a beeline for the park's wettest water ride. Being that it was a chilly (by Taiwan standards) November day, and that it was not even 9 in the a.m., Luke and I ducked out of the line at the last minute (sorry Betty, Christina) and went to find Mike and Will, our friends from the Yingge branch.

We explored the park's four themed areas: Wild West, African Safari, South Pacific, and Persian Castle. I think my favorite was Wild West. Not only did it feature the park's only legitimate big steel coaster, the Screaming Condor, but it also held the Wild West show, which I will describe later. Will is a Texan, and he said the Wild West section of the town was literally identical to the small, Asian populated theme park town that he grew up in.

Anyways, the rides were all pretty standard stuff, there were thrill rides, a few kiddy rides, a big swinging ship ride, a free fall ride, and a nominal number of coasters. There were some interactive rides, and even a Budweiser Keg ride.

This ride almost made me vomit:

The zoo was pretty good. There were camel rides for NT$50, and there was a bicycle that you could peddle along a track over the monkey cages, and the bike itself looked like a baboon! Awesome!

Before we left, we went to the Wild West show. I couldn't understand it, since my Mandarin is still in its infancy, but I suspect that the real Wild West didn't have quite so many flamingos or parrots. I didn't take pictures of it, but imagine a big theatre with old west themed building facades as the backdrop, and a Taiwanese guy in a safari hat hearding flamingos, dogs, and parrots around a stage. That was the show in a nutshell.

We went for some dinner at a flower garden after the park, and that was the end of an interesting day out.

You can see the rest of the photos here:

Leofoo Village Trip 11-25-07

Delinquency / Visitor

2007-11-21T13:12:00.000+08:00

I'm posting from work because Luke and I have a delinquent internet bill out (which I subsequently lost.) I'm working to restore it, and getting back to my downloading of American shows that I miss. It's hard to know what is and isn't a bill when it's all in Chinese, and it's even harder to pay the one bill that isn't payable at the local 7-11.

In other news, Uncle Robert (Chicken Legs) Wyszynski is coming for a visit on December 8th. We will be riding a rickshaw through the black market (oh it's real) and into snake alley, where we will buy snake potions from gypsey pirates to enhance our respective vitalities. All of you in our family can expect shrunken heads and elephant tusks for Christmas.

Anyone who wants something from Taiwan should let me know, as I was going to try to send some small stuff back with him (therefore, no Uncle Tom, I can't get you that collection of Samurai swords.) And if you're feeling generous, I've linked my Amazon wishlist to the right, with books and DVDs and other small stuff that you can send me or not send me. I will try to teleconference in to the Wyszynski family Christmas party if Rich and Shoe can coordinate the technical aspect in Ohio.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Take Five...

2007-11-14T12:50:00.000+08:00

I'll be updating the blog soon with some good stuff. Hopefully a few photos, the zombie play once I get around to uploading it, and maybe even an audio blog soon.

Until then, just enjoy this classic jazz by Dave Brubeck and his band. Hopefully it will help you relax on hump day and slide into the weekend.

An Average Dinner

2007-11-10T20:33:00.000+08:00

I've heard a few people from home request some details about Taiwanese food. This is definitely a country to visit if you like eating. There is literally restaurant after restaurant on many streets here, and most serve pretty traditional Taiwanese and Chinese style foods.

Friday night, after work, Luke and I went to one of your usual spots for a late dinner. we usually get the house specialties: dumplings (in this case, fried pan sticks) and beef noodle soup, a favorite among Taiwanese.

Along with my pan sticks, I decided to get a side dish. There are some side dishes that I've really liked: garlic pickles, pig ears, and marinated tofu chiefly. This night, however, I was in for a surprise.

fried dumplings and my side

Luke's beef noodle soup

What I thought I was ordering was a block of tofu (bean curd) and a tea egg-- an egg boiled in tea that has absorbed all the tea flavors, quite good. What I got was a block of tofu and some kind of Satan's Egg. Look at this thing!

As you can see, the white is a gelatenous semi-clear brown, like brown Jell-O. The yolk is half green sludge, half yellow goo. It tasted vaguely like an egg, but I didn't finish it. I asked a friend who has lived here for years what it was, and she said it's a preserved egg. She says she's heard that the best ones are preserved in horse urine. Mmmmm...

Believe me when I say that despite some of the weird stuff, most of the food here is really good.

Grand Theft Auto: Taipei

2007-11-07T19:53:00.000+08:00

I found this video of a police chase through Taipei and I thought I'd share.

It reminded me a lot of Grand Theft Auto on Playstation. The police chased this guy for miles and miles, had him in stopped traffic at least twice, and didn't break the window and drag him out. The chase went from city, to highway, back to city. They shot out his tires, but kept letting him drive. Every time he slowed down, they'd fire a volley of shots into this seemingly invincible Honda Hybrid (they build 'em tough in Japan.) Meanwhile the number of police cars (and scooters, ha!) kept multiplying until I figured the only logical next step would be to get a helicopter in on the action.

For those of you who can't stomach violence (or police inadequacy) they do eventually shoot and kill the guy at the end, but it took them long enough.

Japanese War Criminals Alive and Kicking

2007-11-05T13:30:00.001+08:00

Someone linked me to an article recently that describes the atrocities committed by the Imperial Japanese Navy during WWII. Such horrendous acts as blowing up Red Cross and merchant vessels and then slaughtering or torturing any floating survivors, cruel medical experiments, and methods of execution ranging from beheading to sledge hammer to the head to burying alive and crucifixion.

British Historian Mark Felton has written a book documenting the horrors of these acts, Slaughter At Sea: The Story Of Japan's Naval War Crimes.

From the article:

According to Felton, officers of the Imperial Japanese Navy ordered the deliberately sadistic murders of more than 20,000 Allied seamen and countless civilians in cold-blooded defiance of the Geneva Convention.

"Many of the Japanese sailors who committed such terrible deeds are still alive today," he said.

"No one and nothing has bothered these men in six decades. There is only one documented case of a German U-boat skipper being responsible for cold-blooded murder of survivors. In the Japanese Imperial Navy, it was official orders."

Imperial soldiers at work exterminating Allies

What bothers me is that even 60 years later, and after overwhelming historical evidence and eyewitness testimony, the Japanese government refuses to formally apologize for war crimes and does nothing to prosecute those responsible for them. Former Japanese PM Shinzo Abe refused to admit that the Imperial Army and its contractors kidnapped women from Korea and China and forced them into sexual servitude, and the true nature of the evil and hatred that existed in Japanese society during the time of the Empire is totally diluted or ignored in modern Japanese education.

As much shame and embarrassment as it may cause the Japanese to admit wrongdoing, it must be done if they are ever to be taken seriously as a peaceful nation or are given any of their military power back.

2007-11-04T22:00:00.001+08:00

I'll pass, thanks.

Good morning, Lucifer.

2007-11-03T17:33:00.000+08:00

I'm constantly surprised by some of the English names that kids (and even adults) have here. At our kindergarten, we have a kid named Soccer, a kid named Seven, and another named Lucifer (really.) There are also students named Cicada, Virginie, Pony, Dabby, Queeny, and Alvis that roam the halls of Hess.

I've heard of friends teaching kids named Computer and Free Pizza (because 'everybody likes free pizza!') and I've met adults with such unusual English names as Ariel, Maximo, Buster, and Allister. I talked with a woman last night named Taco (I even checked the spelling.) I think with the kids, their English names are picked out by their parents or English teachers and they stick. With the adults though, they have the ability to pick their own names. After all, it's not like their English name is their legal name, but rather a convenience for English speaking Chinese when talking to other English speakers.

Still, with any sort of fluency with another language, you would think that they would pick names that sound a little more normal in conversation. I laugh every time I hear Christina tell little Lucifer to stop running or sit down, and I think about what it would be like for him if he lived the rest of his life with that unfortunate moniker.

When bad pets go bad, dang!

2007-11-01T23:19:00.000+08:00

I've seen this photo before, but I've never read the full back story.

May 18, 2007—A saltwater crocodile holds the forearm of a veterinarian following a grisly attack at Taiwan's Shoushan Zoo in April.

Good God. Remind me to go to the aquarium if I ever feel the need to see Taiwan's imported wildlife.

2007-10-30T15:18:00.001+08:00

Chicken McCostumes

Fright Night

2007-10-28T15:31:00.000+08:00

Last night was the kindergarten Halloween party. Teacher Lilly and I were the hosts, and the night was a success, I think. The kids and their parents showed up, most in costume, and we scared them in our scary costumes before we put on our little spiel about being demons from the past who hid treasure in the school for the kids to find.

The kids went out around the block where we had different activities set up for them to do, and after each they were given a piece of the ancient treasure map. Then they came back to the school to find their treasure (candy.)

Here are some photos of the night:

Hess Kindy Halloween '07

Rock lobster!

2007-10-27T15:09:00.000+08:00

Luke and I were walking home after what I considered a successful but exhausting Friday of teaching last night, when we saw two Westerners sitting at the table in front of our apartment building. Of course, not thinking about it, we walked over and introduced ourselves and began talking to them. Our new friends turned out to be from Canada and South Africa, and are also teaching English at various spots around Linko. After talking about work and living in Taiwan versus back home and sipping beers for a couple of hours, we all got it in our heads to go to the beach.

This kind of surprised Luke and I because we didn't know we were very close to the beach. So after our friends went and got their scooters (mine died on me Thursday night) we jumped on the back and scooted off.

The drive was really nice. The air was cool and the weather was perfect for a late night drive. We wound our way down the mountain roads, and stopped to take in the scenery. We drove through forests, over bridges, and through a rather sizable cemetery. We stopped to take in a view of a coastal town, its lights reflecting off the Pacific Ocean, and then made our way down to the beach.

It wasn't a sandy beach, and it wasn't all that clean. Just a patch of rocky coast off the highway where we could enjoy the sound of waves crashing, and the firecracker sound of thousands of rocks and pebbles being turned over as the waves pulled back out to sea. We stood around there for a while laughing and talking, and then got on the scooters and headed home.

Our friends dropped us off here, we said our goodbyes and then we called it a night. It was a nice little adventure, though, especially since I left work only expecting to eat dinner and maybe watch a movie before bed, but little adventures like this are what make me glad I came here.

Almost Halloween

2007-10-24T18:39:00.000+08:00

Halloween is coming up, and yes, it is celebrated here in Taiwan (at least in Hess it is.) It will be interesting to see what the Taiwanese version of Halloween is. I have my costume all ready to go for Saturday night's Kindergarten Halloween fest. I'm a demon who, along with Demon Teacher Luke, Demon Teacher Christina, and Demon Teacher Naledi, will be the keepers of the treasure (a big box o' candy) and the hosts of the evening's festivities.

In addition to my Kindergarteners, I've been trying to get my other students into the Halloween spirit. I've added monsters to some of the games we play, and I wrote a play about a Zombie invasion of Linko for one of my classes to perform at their graduation in a couple of weeks. I'll let you know how it goes, but the kids seem to like it so far.

Feeling Bad

2007-10-20T19:55:00.000+08:00

I'm sick. I was sick a couple days last week, and it's back this weekend. It's just the standard head cold with a cough kicker, but it means that I don't really get to enjoy my only days off of the week. I got some Chinese herbal medicine from the pharmacy downstairs. It's supposed to help with my cough. It's basically a box of ketchup packets filled with a sticky, syrupy brown goop. It tastes a bit like melted Ricola cough drops, and I'm supposed to eat them with warm water. I suppose they're helping, but that doesn't help my pyroclastic mucous flow or my pounding head or my achy joints.

Also, I woke up with bug bite (spider bites?) on my arms and shoulder and face. What kid of bulls**t is that? I hope tomorrow is better.

Kindergarten Field Trip

2007-10-16T23:26:00.000+08:00

Today was a special day for the kindergarteners at my school. Today they took a field trip. We started the day with the usual Exercise Time followed by Sharing Time, where the kids are encouraged to speak English to me and each other. We then took a bathroom break and headed out to the vans which would carry us to our destination.

Where would we go? The zoo? The park? A museum or exhibit? No, we went where all kindergarten classes of young achievers go: the local brewery.

Okay, so it's not strictly a beer brewery. They also distill sake and wine. And they make other things, too. Like crackers. And cigarettes.

We met Mr. Wang, who would shepard us through the labyrinth of laboratories, distilling machines, stock rooms, and factory areas. He spoke all in Chinese, so I really couldn't tell you if or how he managed to make the distilling process interesting to a group of five and six year olds. There was a flow chart involved, though. That much I know.

Along the way he showed us the various stages of the distilling process, from raw product to distillation, research and development to bottling and shipping. We even got to visit the factory store, which sells foods and cigarettes in addition to all the booze.

Overall, I enjoyed this trip. I don't really understand why we took little kids there, but I guess learning about the distillation of alcohol is just as educational as fine art or child-centered science.

Join me next month, on our next field trip. Where will we go? The crematorium perhaps? Or the taxi dispatch center? Or maybe the solid waste treatment plant? Who knows. Keep checking back.

Until then, you can check out all of the photos from today's trip here:

October '07 Hess Kindy Field Trip

2007-10-07T14:25:00.000+08:00

There are inspirational messages posted above some of the urinals in the men's room at Taipei Main Station. Here's one:

I love you mom, Whoo-Whoo!

Developing Story: The Apartment Fire

2007-10-06T02:45:00.000+08:00

Luke and I finished off an average Friday at work, went shopping at Carrefour with our head English teacher, Christina, and shortly after returning home, had to evacuate the building because of a thick, acrid smoke that began creeping up the stairwell and into our apartment. The alarms went off, and we grabbed Jasper (our new feline roommate) and left the apartment.

Downstairs, in the lobby, there was pandemonium. Residents all brought their families and toy dogs down from their smoky domiciles and congregated in the one fresh sanctum of our entire community. It was kind of cool at first, seeing everyone in their night attire, everyone confused but happy that it wasn't their stuff on fire. We said hi to a couple of our neighbors and just chilled out in the lobby.

Then the firemen and police came in and started asking people questions, and everyone got restless, and I really just wanted to go back upstairs. After talking to Kevin, a guy who lives in the building who speaks good English (and who may be the resident's board president or something) I learned that a car in the B2 parking lot had caught fire. Lame. So I have to stand in the crowded lobby for an hour because someone's beater of a car couldn't even stand stationary without bursting into flames.

Add to this the fact that we're due in for a super-typhoon this weekend that will surely block any chance of having fun and you've got all the ingredients for a restless weekend at home.

Moon Festival

2007-10-03T14:00:00.000+08:00

A couple weeks ago was moon festival, and I'm just now getting around to writing about it. Moon Festival or Mid-Autumn Festival is celebrated all over the Chinese speaking world by grilling out, getting the day off, and eating moon cakes and pomelos (like grapefruits.)

Since we got a four day weekend, Luke and I joined some friends in Puli for a weekend of camping. We took a bus down and camped from Sunday to Tuesday. Our guide for our excursions was Yuri Bradley Human (a.k.a. Y B Human?) a South African expat that we found to be quite eccentric. He took us on a hike up the middle of a river, kayaking on Sun Moon Lake, and paragliding from our campsite. You can see the photos here, and I'll add more as I get them.

2007-09-16T19:04:00.000+08:00

Just for fun, here's a bunch of Polish people singing on the MRT in Taipei.

The Taiwanese guy in orange at about the 1:30 mark doesn't look amused.

我不能講中文。

2007-09-16T18:40:00.000+08:00

Well, I've been abroad for three months now, and have been in Taiwan for almost two. It seems like longer, but it's really just the beginning. In three months I've lived in a couple of different countries, learned bits of a few different languages, ate all kinds of new foods, and met a whole lot of cool and interesting people. I have started a new job, and am working on making this place my home.

I am actually starting to feel more at home here. Even though I am still illiterate, and can speak slightly less Mandarin than a Taiwanese two-year old, I am beginning to feel less out of place. It will be a long and hard process I'm sure, but having a place to call home and a growing network of friends and associates is making the transition easier. I am also glad that I at least speak English. I can't imagine what it would be like to come here knowing only Russian or Spanish or Swahili or something. At least English is studied by enough people to make it easy for me to get by.

I was however, feeling kind of nostalgic for American stuff today, so I jumped on my scooter and headed over to the local McDonald's for lunch. Big Mac, fries, and just to add a little Asian flare, an iced tea. Then I went and signed up for a Blockbuster Video account. I miss Netflix a lot. Millions of DVDs to chose from, all kinds of films from the classic to the esoteric, and TV shows to boot. The local Blockbuster has an decent selection of new Western DVDs, but I'll still have to find a way to watch my shows from back home.

Thel Local Drinkeries

2007-09-08T09:18:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was payday, so after a satisfying meal of beef soup and fried Korean pan sticks at our local dumpling joint, Luke and I decided to find a place to do some drinking. We had heard from coworkers and local acquaintances about perhaps the only bar in our area. We started walking, crossed the highway that divides our city of Linko from neighboring Gueishan, and found the bar straight away using our coworker's directions.

The place was called Tequila Music Bar. In external appearance, it was exactly the kind of bar you'd see on your local urban or suburban street corner. Flickering backlit sign, neon Bud and Miller ads, and posters covering the glass door and windows, blocking the view in or out. Even the inside was authentic Americana. Low lighting, a hardwood bar complete with stools and a brass footbar, and shelves full of Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, and Famous Grouse. A TV on the bar played downloaded Justin Timberlake music videos the whole time we were there. I guess that's what made it a "music bar". Luke and I took a seat at the bar and ordered some beers. At about NT200 ($6) each, these beers carried a Taipei premium price, but what did we care? We'd just gotten fat envelopes of cash and dammit, we wanted to drink in a bar.

Our bartender for the evening was a very cute young Taiwanese girl who introduced herself as Sa Sa (or Sasha, tee-hee.) She chatted with us for a few minutes before going back to bar tending for the other nine or so patrons. Almost immediately after her departure, another attractive woman came up and took a seat next to us. She introduced herself and chatted for a few minutes before returning to the company of a table full of businessmen. I was beginning to feel like a sexy, popular Norm from Cheers. A few minutes later another woman came and did the exact same. "Oh," we realized "it's one of those places."

It's not uncommon in Taiwan to enter a bar full of pretty girls dressed fairly skimpily, and a few average looking male patrons. It's exciting at first, seeing the ratio of goofy looking men to attractive women. But as one finds out quickly, these women are paid employees of the bar. Employees disguised as fellow customers, but who will only come sit or talk with you if you pay them (or at least buy them rounds of overpriced drinks which they undoubtedly take a cut of from the till.) They aren't prostitutes per se, at least not in the traditional sense.

Upon noticing this, the bar lost a lot of its appeal to us. I asked Sa Sa about the other girls and she admitted that they were "customer service" employees. She furrowed her brow and acted like I had just cracked DaVinci's code. We're not that lonely or desperate for female companionship. We decided to pay our tab and leave. Sa Sa tried to cornhole us out of an extra NT100, but we corrected her and she apologized through a plastic smile. That bitch.

Since we weren't yet sufficiently soused, we decided to go to a place we'd found a couple of weekends ago. This place is a large corrugated steel building in Gueishan that is full of food vendors and is open late nights. It looks like an old airplane hangar, and it's very much the kind of place you might stop to eat at at a county fair. The length of the walls is lined with food vendors of all varieties. Noodle vendors, seafood, pig parts, stinky tofu, and soup places. The middle of the building was dotted with folding tables and plastic stools. Along the back wall, a few rows of homemade arcade machines and basketball games kept the kids busy.

We got a couple of tall mugs from one of the beer vendors (at only NT120 for 1 liter) and took a seat. There were no miniskirts here. No Justin Timberlake. This was a working man's place. The customers here were all real people. No plastic smiles at this place. The smiles here were real. Smiles with blackened or missing teeth. Smiles blood red from constant betel nut chewing. The men were sweaty and tired from a long work week, and undoubtedly many of them would work again on Saturday and Sunday. Men without shoes, men with paint staining their hands and arms, or with scars and sores from working with their hands all day. Women with equally hardened features, yet still undeniably feminine, accompanied their men to this social mecca where everyone can eat and drink cheaply and without the social pressures faced by bar and club goers.

This place suited us much better. We drank, we ate, and we people watched. There were stray dogs and cats, there was no bathroom so we were forced to use the parking lot. There was no air conditioning, and occasionally someone fell off their stool or spilled a beer and everyone laughed. We loved it.

Tofunky

2007-09-05T17:48:00.000+08:00

One of the first foods I encountered on the streets of Taipei was stinky tofu (臭豆腐 cho dofu.) The Taiwanese love the smelly delicacy, which is basically tofu (bean curd) which has been fermented in a bath of vegetable brine for several months and then deep fried and served with chili sauce. You can smell the stinky tofu from down the street if a vendor is close, and it has a unique, powerfully pungent aroma that is unlike anything else I've smelled before. It tastes okay in my opinion, but the smell alone turns many people off.

I saw an interesting article on Google today wherein a stinky tofu vendor was actually fined by the government for the stench of his product.

The Taipei County Environmental Protection Bureau slapped the T$100,000 fine on the Kuang Tou Lao stinky tofu restaurant in Hsinchuang, a satellite city of Taipei, for reaching a stench level of 30, in an area where only a level 10 was permitted.

I'd like to have a look at this "stench level" scale and its various benchmarks. Is there a stenchometer? Do you know what the acceptable stench level in your hometown is? My guess is that Linko's is fairly high.

A lower court imposed the fine in April 2006 after receiving 16 complaints from neighbours who could not stand the odour, but restaurant owner Peng Tien-jung appealed the ruling. The Administrative High Court rejected Peng's appeal on Tuesday.

Peng protested the fine, saying for stinky tofu, the more "aromatic", the better quality. "Who wants to eat stinky tofu that does not stink?" he asked environment inspectors.

Indeed, who would eat just regular, non-stinky tofu?

Cable TV channel TVBS reported that Kuang Tou Lao is not the smelliest stinky tofu restaurant in Taipei. TVBS showed an unnamed stinky tofu vendor who rubs a type of smelly gravel onto the tofu to make it more pungent.

Cat litter?

All in all, it's good to see the authorities cracking down on smell pollution here in Taiwan. Now if only they would do something about the air pollution, water pollution, constant loud noises, other bad smells, and terrible traffic...

WTF Japan?

2007-09-02T11:01:00.000+08:00

The folks over at cNet's Crave blog have posted a promo video for Sony's new executive tech toy, the 'Rolly'. It's exact functions and purpose are still open to speculation, as Sony hasn't released much but a teaser video, but it appears to be some kind of rolling, flashing, spinning football shaped thing that 'dances' along to music, and possibly does other stuff too. Here's the video, which I actually find quite funny.

My only question is "why?" Why does the world need this? At least their robotic dog could serve as a poop free companion to those who for whatever reason can't get a real pooch. All I can imagine this thing doing is rolling around your house, freaking out your cat, and perhaps getting into a fight with your Roomba. Actually, since Battle Bots went off the air, I've been jonseing for a good robot v. robot deathmatch. Let's see what you got, Sony.

Crave also reports that Taiwanese laptop manufacturer Acer is set to buy Gateway, which will make the company the world's third largest PC maker. Pretty cool, nice going Taiwan.

Goodbye, Sweeite

2007-08-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

Mary "Sweetie" Walsh, my maternal grandmother, died today in Cleveland. After years of living with Alzheimer's Disease, she passed away in hospice care surrounded by her children. Ever since the death of her husband, my Grandpa Bill, Sweetie had been fading farther and farther from the woman I knew as Grandma as a kid.

The Sweetie Walsh that I knew as a kid was a truly jolly woman. I remember the smells and the feelings associated with being at her house. There were always cooking smells. She was always cooking something, more often than not in the oven, so it was always a surprise to see what she'd pull out after the timer dinged. I remember the smell of old things. She had a basement, a second floor, and closets full of old things. Things from her children's childhoods. Things from the '50s and '60s. Things that my brothers and I used to pull out, try on, play with, and occasionally make a mess of. I suppose she treasured these things, or maybe growing up in the post depression era taught her not to throw anything out, lest it be needed later.

I remember the feel of her velveteen sofa. One of my favorite pastimes when visiting grandma was napping. My Grandpa Bill taught me how to nap. Before that, I thought that napping had to be done in bed, but Grandpa showed me that naps could be taken on the sofa, or even sitting in a chair in front of the TV.

Grandma would always spoil us too. I remember her ice cream sundaes as some of the best I've ever had. We had ice cream at home occasionally, sure. But at Grandma's house you could always count on ice cream with chocolate syrup, sprinkles, melted peanut butter, and very often there were some Spanish peanuts thrown into the mix. Ole! And she would make a damn fine root beer float, too.

One of the things I remember best about my grandma is her sense of humor. She always knew how to make me laugh. I'm sure when I was a baby she gave me raspberries on my tummy and played peek-a-boo, but even as I grew older, I recognized the savvy about her that, when combined with her sweetness, made it hard for anyone to resist her charm by not smiling or laughing.

All the Christmases where she got me the perfect gift and beamed as I opened it, all the baptisms and weddings where she wore her best dress and was the warm center of the family that everyone gathered around. All of the nights where she gave me a bath and then sang to me as I tried my best to go to sleep in the old scary back room of her house, and all of the little looks of fondness and love that she gave so freely every day. These are the things I will forever remember of my Grandma.

I love you, Grandma Sweetie, and I will miss you.

TV break

2007-08-29T16:47:00.000+08:00

I got the second half of the day off work today, so I thought I'd at least be productive and film myself watching TV. Here's what's on in Taiwan.

A few nights ago, I saw our former next door neighbor, Judge Lyn Toler, on Larry King Live. It was kind of neat seeing someone I know on a channel I could understand all the way over here.

Also, I changed the template of this page. Bluer, huh?